THE WOMAN

I've seen bad films, and I've seen sexist films, and I've seen horror films that everybody else has castigated me for, because of their explicit content. Yet, I have never had the misfortune to watch a horror film that was so utterly awful in every single sense, that you wonder how it got made in the first place.

"The Woman" is a supposed psychological-chiller about backwards American man Chris Cleek, who captures a neanderthalic female whilst out hunting in the local woods. For reasons unknown, he takes her home to his family - wife, two daughters and one son - ties the captured woman up, and intends to "civilize" her into society! At this point, you may already be asking yourself "Why do the family tolerate this, and why don�t they go to the police?" Both of which are great questions...

And when I say "civilize", I really mean rape, torture and generally mistreat.

Why does he do this? We don't know.

Why does his family tolerate this? We don't know.

What was the purpose of him doing this? We don't know.

You�ll be banging your head, wondering why none of these obvious questions receive answers. The film explains so little, that the ending is quite simply bafflingly stupid! (The "Woman" is let go by the teenage daughter, kills and eats the family, and takes another woman as a "surrogate"!) At no point in the entire film, are we told the purpose of Cleek's experiment. At no point is the "Woman" given any kind of back story, explaining who she is, how she came to be a neanderthalic outcast, or where she came from.

In fact, about the only thing that Lucky McKee�s film does demonstrate, is what a pathetic loser of a man, the character of Cleek actually is. He�s a hick-town attorney, who seems to covet any member of the opposite sex, yet who also has such a scathing hatred of them, he�s almost at war with himself. He simultaneously hits on his secretary at work, yet he berates his teenage daughter�s school teacher, before accusing her of lying to him about his daughter�s possible pregnancy, and then bitch-slapping her! Nice!

He has a son who mistreats animals, yet is vaguely talented at basketball. His wife is totally repressed, to the point she can barely talk to him. His daughter may or may not be pregnant, and the youngest daughter, is about the only vaguely normal, human character in the entire film. And she�s about 5 years of age, and only seems to enjoy eating her mother�s gingerbread men!

We briefly meet a few of their neighbours, but the film skims over who they are, and their relationship to the Cleek household.

I was extremely frustrated at finding these people so utterly unredeeming! Not one of them is remotely likeable, nor plausible. How on earth could a representative of the law get away so brazenly with half of the actions Cleek gets away with? After all, he�s hardly a man with much power � a property-attorney, according to the film, and as such, his actions should really have been discoverable quite easily. Why was the "Woman" never discovered until now? If she were as skilled a survivalist, as the early stages of the film implies, how was she able to be captured so easily by Cleek? How did her taste for human flesh develop, when she�s shown living off of the land and animal flesh? What caused her to turn cannibal?

You won�t ever find the answer to any of these questions, as the film doesn�t even bother to try and offer-up some kind of rational explanation. It doesn�t even bother to give you any explanation period! It peters out to the end, with a cynically naff whimper.

None of the cast can act. Not even Pollyanna McIntosh, who plays the titular character. All that was required of her, is to just mope around, grunt and growl like a dog, and that's about it. The less said about the remainder of the cast, the better. Not one single, sympathetic or believable character in the entire film. All of the men are reprehensible, sexist, violent thugs, (even the teenage boy), who have no problem in lashing out at the most minute of issues. All of the women are portrayed as dowdy characters, kept permanently at the end of the men's thumbs circa 1830, and the entire film, has the women portrayed as objects, rather than people or characters. (There's even the stereotypical "dyke" female high school teacher, to boot, who barely looks much above school-leaving age as it is!)

Quite simply, this film is not worth a second of your time! It's reprehensible, because it debases every female character, and every woman in society! It has no characters to empathise or even sympathise with. And the ending is so out of place, that it will leave you bemused, angry and befuddled at its complete pointlessness. It tries to be smart, clever and audacious, but is really just a low-budget, grunge flick, with expendable characters that have nothing to say. It seems to be more of an exorcising of McKee�s and Jack Ketchum�s own issues with women, than anything else, and I really do have to wonder why anyone, let alone any woman, would want to be associated with this film in any way, shape or form?

The DVD cover says that this film is a "masterpiece" of horror, a "Must-see" film. It claims it's a feminist tract, and a rallying cry to 21st Century Women. No! What it actually is, is total misogynistic garbage, that says nothing, does nothing, and goes nowhere fast! It�s the kind of film "Troma" would turn their noses up at, and kill in a heartbeat, at the First Draft stage! Yes, it really is that bad!

The film comes with some extras, namely a "Making Of", some deleted scenes, a bonus short film, a "Meet The Crew" featurette, and a music video. I have to confess I didn�t bother with watching any of those, but if you like the film, then at least this release gives you some extra bits to get your teeth into, if you�re so inclined. The same extras are also on the Blu-Ray release too.

Ultimately, however, the film is so bad, you�ll probably not bother with the extras any way, and god only knows why you�d want this film on Blu-Ray, as it�s hardly a cinematic masterpiece worthy of being released in 1080p Hi-Def glory. The image on the DVD is clean, stable and dust and dirt free, but it looks as if it was made on a shoe-string budget akin to that of a US TV movie, than a film intended to be seen on the big-screen. There�s nothing in it, that screams "cinema" at you. It�s just a tiny little film, made by a couple of well-known genre names who should know better, and hampered by a poor script, lame direction, and a talentless cast!

If you want to wallow in 98 minutes of footage of men beating-up and berating women, then by all means, waste �9-99 on this turgid junk. But if you want to see a genuine feminist tract, in horror cinema, then buy the original 1978 version of "I Spit On Your Grave". At least that film was not only based on a true story, but actually humanised the victim, so that audiences could sympathise with her plight!

Simply put: don�t rent this, and don�t buy it either!

Review by "Pooch"